After the Reception
by MomofPhoenix
Summary: Lester is attending a wedding of an old friend. The catch, he has to wear a kilt. YouTube has stuck again. No pairings, simply a Lester story. Rated for language and suggestive nature.
A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

I can only plead YouTube and Moby in the Morning for this one. Based on a song called The Drunk Scotsman that Moby in the Morning posted from YouTube to his Facebook page. The moment I heard it, I thought of Lester, and the large Irish Catholic weddings involving kilts that I have attended. (Yes, Irish not Scottish)

After the Reception

I'm not sure how my friend, Aiden, talked me into being the Best Man in his wedding, but he managed to make me wear a kilt as well. I would have to endure twelve hours of wearing the damn thing. That wasn't even the worst part; I was informed that I had to wear it in the traditional sense. I had to ask what that was. Now, I'm all for going commando, but when it came to wearing a mans skirt I shouldn't have to go the full Monty under it.

So, here I stand, thirty minutes into the two hour long, Irish Catholic wedding Mass, and my guys are trying to crawl up inside me. It turns out that the heat was broken and it is only 35 degrees outside. No matter how much I lusted after the maid of honor, Mr. Wee Willy Winkie was not ever going to come out of hiding again.

I realize that they are doing outside pictures before we meet everyone at the reception. Aiden must have seen the panic in my eyes at the announcement.

"For a former Army Ranger, you are no longer a badass. The cold shouldn't bother you. At least the wind is calm today."

I gave him a discreet universal hand gesture and all he did was laugh. Fucker. Finally, after two hours in ball numbing cold, we are in the limos heading off to the posh hotel for the reception. I have been assured that there is heart there and little Santos begins to thaw on our way.

Soon we are announced and seated. The dreaded speeches begin. The maid of honor, gives a blessing in Gaelic, and I have no clue what she is saying. It must have be good, because the crowd cheers loudly. After we are done with our speeches they bring us diner. It was rather good, normally I detest food at receptions.

As we are finishing up a troup of Irish step dancers begin to perform. The traditional stuff followed that quickly. I have to be honest, I took advantage of the open bar and so did everyone else. I need the stuff to act like brain bleach; considering the number of peeps I was given.

After what felt like months, the party was over. I began to stumble my way to my room in the hotel. I needed to get my head down and feet up quickly. What I didn't realize was how quick.

Unknown POV

It was 3:30 am, and my sister and I were going back to our room after a long visit with our Dad. We got out of the elevator on our floor, only to stumble across a man in the hallway. He was just outside one of the rooms. He smelled like a distillery. He was laying on his back, with his arms on his well muscled chest.

I looked at my sister and realized she was admiring the beautifully toned, blonde haired man in front of us. I notice that he is wearing a kilt, and mind began to wonder. Did they, or didn't they? Was it true about what they said men wore under kilts? I looked over at Kim and realized she was doing the same thing.

"Uh, Margaret, do you think?" She asked me.

"I dunno," I replied. Shrugging my shoulders. "Should we..."

"We definitely should."

I carefully bent down and gently lifted the edge of the kilt. We stared in awe and the mans bits. As the shock wore off we began to compose ourselves.

"That's a brave, brave man. Should we leave him a gift?"

I nodded and knew exactly what "gift" we would leave. I had Kim hold up the man skirt, as I applied my present. We soon made our way to our room, giggling the entire way.

LesterPOV

I groan as I slowly raise my head and open my sleep crusted eyes. I notice that I am in the hallway right outside of my room. I check each of my limbs, to see if they still work. That makes the headache worse. I know that with the way nature is screaming at my bladder I need to move now.

I fly into my room, beeline for the bathroom and do my business. As I finish off, I look down and just blink. What the hell did I do last night?! I can only shake my head at the blue ribbon tied around little Santos. I must have channeled my inner Steph, because I had to speak out loud.

"I'm not sure what we did last night, buddy. I'm glad to see you won first prize though."

A/N Kim and Margaret, I hope this made you giggle.

I won't be posting for a bit. I am working on Paying the Price, the first chapter is with my beta. I promise that I am trying, unfortunately real life lIke's to kick me when I'm already down. Love and Hugs,

Lynda


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